What Did Fannie Lou Say?
- Hey Miss. Slaughter
- Nov 14, 2018
- 4 min read
Let me preface this post with, if you have not done any of these things to a person color, this does not apply to you. If you believe that racism happens in this country and you are ready to make a change, dm me. If after reading this you think I'm quitting, I'm not. My experience with my colleagues and students at this University has been phenomenal and I am excited to continue learning and growing with them. I was told to share my experiences and I am doing just that. These are MY experiences, MINE. Like Fannie Lou told her testimony in that courtroom, I shall tell mine. If you don't like it send $19.13 to my Venmo, (@Mecca-Slaughter). The following was written on November 13th, 2018 at 3:05pm.
(The only edits that were made were grammar related)
Alright I'm done. I'm moving. This is it. I can't do this anymore. I really almost got into two fights today. If you know me, you know I don't fight. But I was about to really knock some people out today. First I decided to walk to my nail appointment and use my cab fair for when I go back home. I'm not even 20 feet from my building when a couple of guys decide it's okay to stare and start talking to me. I indulge them and say hello in a "I'm pissed already" voice and continue my journey. Next block, the one I thought would be clear because it's like 12:30 and kids should still be in school. No! I see there is a huge group of high schoolers and decided to put Icon by Jayden Smith in my ears and go around them. I see a group of guys pointing and laughing. Normally I would have kept walking but I had time today. I took my earbuds out and said, "Did you say something!?" "What did you say!?". They quickly turned around and kept walking. This is where being a woman trying to lean on other women is just not a thing here. There are older women and young women looking at the situation and nobody steps in. Like seriously, if they shot me would y'all do anything? So not only do I not feel safe walking by myself in the day, let alone night, but now I can't depend on my own gender to stand up with me. Notice I didn't say for me because I can throw hands if needed. Here I am walking to the next block. At the end of this block I'll make my first turn in this 25 minute journey. I've now changed the song to knuck if you buck. Because that's how I felt. I've turned the sound down a lil. At this time I have messaged the other Fulbrighters to come collect all of Tetovo because I'm over it. Then it happens again! A dude says hey Black something, I didn't hear the last part. But I again removed my earbuds and shouted "WHAT DID YOU SAY!? I HAVE TIME TODAY! I HAVE TIME TODAY!" I was about to pull his backpack and throw him down but he started running away and I had a nail appointment to get to. And again nobody did ANYTHING! Like are you serious I'm here helpless. There is one of me and a city of everyone else. I'm on my way to put money in your economy and y'all just gonna stand or keep walking while I'm getting harassed on the street? You see, back home I'd have back up. Oh and don't let me be with my sorors, you're going down. But here, it's me and God writing down everything they're doing to me. Have fun in Hell! Mess with His anointed if you want to, your days are numbered. So I continue to walk and I here laughing and "omgs". I miss my street actually but just go around the roundabout. At this point I'm just upset. I have no words I wanna cry but I can't I gotta get to my nail appointment. Then I see a huge dog and he's just a barking. The dog came about to my hip so it was a pretty large sized animal. Everyone is just going around him and looking scared. I was like you know this dog ain't gonna hurt me. He's barking, I walk by and he stops barking. After I leave his presence he continues to bark. When I tell you I was about to turn around and befriend that baby. I thought to myself I just need one to follow me around and keep me safe. I'll train him to listen for words like Black and Nigga so he just starts barking at whoever said it. I finally got to the nail place and and it was just so lovely inside. I just felt a lot better. The lady next to me said she'd help translate while she was still there. She asked the basics, where are you from? What do you do here? And then she asked me if I liked it... I was about to be like NO I DON'T LIKE IT! I WAS HARASSED MULTIPLE TIMES BEFORE I GOT TO THIS SPOT TODAY! I'M TRYING TO BE POSITIVE AND IGNORE THE HATE AND RUDENESS BUT I'M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF IT! But I didn't, I told her my University experience is lovely and I'm happy I'm here.
Let me see the record straight. Everyone here is not bad. Everyone here is not mean and rude. But everyone has a roll to play when I get harassed. The men need to set the younger boys in order. Get them together. The women need to get it together too. You see another woman scared for her life and you just continue to watch or walk on by? You're the problem too.
I'm sick and tired of this mess. I'm sick and tired of trying to do good in a place that sees me as dirt. I'm tired. My mom said I need to find someone who will listen to me. Someone who will act on the issues that I'm having. Because look, I'm ready tah go.
#IHADTIME #ImOverIt #CallMichelleObama #ImNotAfraidToThrowHands #ImGoingToContinueToGoOffOnPeopleUntilTheyGetThePoint #GiveMeBackAllTheThingsBlackPeopleInvented #IHaveTwoDegrees #LeaveMeAlone
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