How My Headphones Saved My Life

As I sit here in my favorite spot in Skopje, Squeeze Me, I was conflicted on what to write. This past month has definitely had its ups and downs. Some days I am fine and feel completely safe here and then there are those days where I'm like... "is there a red eye flight I can take? just ship my stuff to me." No one can really prepare you fully for an experience such as this. I am not sure if you understand that being hyper visible can have lasting effects on a person's mental state. Have I become stronger from this experience, yes. As I start to plan for the next steps I for sure will be able to funnel the painful emotions into something better. But, i digress. The reason you clicked this was because you're trying to figure out how a pair of headphones saved my life.

Everyday since I started college I have always had a pair of headphones that blast music varying from Kirk Franklin to Crime Mob on a daily basis. In college it was the lil push I needed to walk faster to get to class on time. When I moved here it became my life line. My headphones are like shields that have blocked a lot of negative things that have come my way. The combination of headphones and a swift walk is my go-to. There was a week that I didn't have my headphones and I guess this is where the real story begins...

As I was in route from the house to the train station in Germany, I realized I didn't have my headphones. I was already running behind so there was no point in turning around. I remembered I had a spare back in Skopje but with the iPhone I had I needed the adapter. I high-key was freaking out inside because my headphones literally protected me when I would walk places. I was like there has to be a place in Skopje that has the adapter.... nope. I was so glad that I was headed to London that week so that I could go to a legit Apple Store and get the adapter. But until then, I was left without.

During that week I thought well if I just walk to work really early before anyone is really walking and then walk back after lunch when everyone was back at work, i'll be fine. Well to everyone's surprise, that didn't happen. I did try to stick to this temporary schedule to avoid the larger crowds, and it worked to a point, but it didn't cure it. When I tell you I almost had a panic attack, y'all. I almost was like let me just stay home until I can get it together.

I would walk and hear every comment, every laugh and every camera shutter sound (Yes, it's like I am in a zoo... The fact that there was a time Black people were actually put into zoos just makes this so much worse). I have never held my head so low. Me? Mecca? Not confident? Me? The one who is first to say something? I never in my life thought that I would be in the position that because I don't have this material thing, I would be fearful of just walking. Walking to work no less. I've talked with others here and when I tell you I am about to start a fund to make sure every person of color has a pair of noise cancelling headphones.... child. They tell you when you're younger that sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.... guess what, words hurt and words are often times more traumatizing than anything physical. When you get called rude things everyday, all day, you tend to look in the mirror and be like... I know I am the baddest out here, but they got me out here questioning my self worth.

Listen you ain't gotta tell me my melanin is poppin. You ain't gotta tell me nothin hunny. But here I am questioning how great of a person I am.

My headphones really saved my life, and continue to do so on a daily basis.

Like if I didn't have them, i'd have to wear ear plugs to get through the day. And the warmer it gets, the more people are out and about and I have to figure out how I am going to survive the 20 minutes it takes me to get to my destination.

I think I take care of my headphones better than I take care of everything else, lol.

First thing I am doing when I get back to the United States, after I get an authentic taco, I will be purchasing the best headphones a person can buy.... in budget.

So to the inventor of headphones, i thank you, your invention has saved my life on countless occasions

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